wingedbeast

Scene 1
Fairy Godparent: I see that you have been kept from the ball, though you would like to go.

Wot: You know, that might be nice. But, it doesn't really seem to be the root problem, here.

Fairy Godparent: Yes, I know, your step-parent and step-siblings are quite wicked.

Wot: Well... not really.

Fairy Godparent: But, they make you stay home and live in such squalor and-

Wot: And, they're trying to improve their lots in life through the only available means. It's not great what they're doing to me, but given their situation, it's not like they have a lot of options.

Fairy Godparent: Surely, though, you wish to have your chance to meet and, potentially, catch the eye of the conventionally attractive offspring of royalty?

Wot:... Do we know anything else about this person? Hobbies? Interests? Values? Would we be compatible?

Fairy Godparent: Wealthy and conventionally attractive. You would never have to live in such cinders again.

Wot: There! Right there. There's the real problem. Marriage or blood relations are the only means of advancement available. If everything works out good for me, that's great 'n all, but what about the wider ramifications of-

Fairy Godparent: Listen, I've been doing this for a while. You think I haven't noticed the problem? But, this wand isn't all that powerful. I can only do what I can do, not sociopolitical restructuring with a wave. So, do you want to meet the conventionally attractive offspring of royalty or not?

Wot: Okay, but I've got an idea. Hear me out.

Scene 2.

Step Parent: Look, there is the conventionally attractive offspring of royalty, there. Both of you, stand up straight. This is our family's chance!

Step Sibling 1: But, the conventionally attractive offspring of royalty has stopped.

Step Sibling 2: Who is that with the conventionally attractive offspring of royalty?

Step Parent: Someone in clothes indicating the wealth and style of old money, which is the kind of clothes we wish to wear, signaling safety from privation and the good manners indicative of those who have not felt privation. That person is a threat if the conventionally attractive offspring of royalty does not move on. We must find out who that is so as to choose our next move. You two, stay here while I find out.

Step Parent moves forward, only to have the well-dressed person walk away from the conventionally attractive offspring of royalty chasing after.

Step Parent: But, conventionally attractive offspring of royalty. You have not yet met my offspring.

Conventionally attractive offspring of royalty: Come back, unknown but well dressed conventionally attractive person. You have dropped your glass... Manifesto?

Scene 3.

Outside the house

Town Crier: Hear-ye Hear-ye, come hear, all of you all and hear me! The conventionally attractive offspring of royalty has declared a search for the one who's handwriting fits the mystical glass manifesto dropped by the mysterious, conventionally attractive, well dressed person at the ball.

Inside the house.

Wot: Step parent, stop and give this some thought. Not only wouldn't cutting pinky fingers off help at all, but doesn't that indicate that there's something severely wrong with our society's advancement methodology that you're even considering something like that?

Step Parent: I wouldn't expect you to understand, Wot. You never did get into the spirit of things.

Step Sibling 1: You know, Wot is kind of making sense.

Step Sibling 2: Hidden mutilation as a means of getting social status does seem like... something's not well thought out about the whole program.

Wot: With some reworking of the system, and some work, and some good planning, we could all have a much more stable means that would help more people and actually grow a better society and economy for everybody.

Step Parent: All three of you, shut up. This is the way things. You two are coming with me to see if we can convince the conventionally attractive offspring of royalty that you are the mysterious, conventionally attractive, well dressed person that was at the ball. Wot, you stay here and clean.

Wot: Already done.

Step Parent: How?

Wot: You've seen me do it multiple... you know what, go, I've got other things to do.

Scene 4.

In the town square

Attendant to the conventionally attractive offspring of royalty: You will step forward, state your name for the record, and the conventionally attractive offspring of royalty will read a passage from the Glass Manifesto. You will write the passage and the conventionally attractive offspring of royalty will compare your handwriting to the passage within.

Step Sibling 1 steps forward: My name is-

Sound of loud pounding

Step Sibling 1: My name is-

Sound of loud pounding

Step Sibling 1: I'll just

Sound of loud pounding

Step Sibling 1: wait it out.

Sound of loud pounding

Conventionally Attractive Offspring of Royalty stands up: Who is making that racket? You there! *points*

The person pointed at walks away, leaving a posted sign behind.

Conventionally Attractive Offspring of Royalty rushes over to find who it is, then stops to look at the sign.: The sign. The handwriting. It matches the glass manifesto. My love!

Sign Reads: Cleaners and Decorators, tired of working long hours for royalty only to go home and starve? Join the Trade Union of Cleaners, Decorators, and People Who Utilitarily Sing With Rodentia. Now allied with the newly formed Union of Fairies, Talking Animals, and Magical Creatures. We can make our own destinies.