The Tasmanian Devil: Chapter 5

Disclaimer 1: Looney Tunes, the characters, their names, and their likenesses are owned by Warner Brothers and this indicates no claim upon their intellectual property.

Disclaimer 2: I know next to nothing about Tasmania or how actual research facilities work.
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"Are we going to do thith again, Mr. Fudd? I think we've gone over motht of the animalth-"

"And, da insects,"

"And the inthectth, yes Bugs. But, the point ith we've thown you there'th no-"

Mr. Fudd interrupted Dr. Duhch by pressing a button on his sound machine, producing a sound "Ah ee wooah!" Heard in the right way, it could be an... almost human voice... one raspy and hungry and filled with savage anger.

"Elmer, we've gone over this. Ap-ah-puh-hee-neye-aye. It's spotting patterns when they just ain't there."

Mr. Fudd pressed a pudgy finger to the button once more. "Rabbit" The word was as clear as day, with, if anything, more anger than before.

"The o-de-ah o-de-ah o-de-ah odds seem to be changing."

"Yeth, thith... meritth further invethtigathion. It'th by no meanth concluthive, Mr. Fudd. But, it'th thomething to conthider, and thomething that we thould all come up with natural hypothethe for. Invethtigathion, not aththumpthion is the bathith of thienthe."

Mr. Fudd reset the recording and, with a smile, pressed the button.

"Ah ee woohah rabbit ah" and it was then followed by a rude sound.

"Teww me, educated ewite, what naturaw force, beside humans, bwows the waspbewwy!"

"Thomeone or thomething could have pathed gath."

Mr. Fudd hunched over his desk. His normally only slightly raspy voice dropped in register, becoming more like a growl. "How can you even think that? Is this not pwoof befowe youw vewwy eaws?"

"That'th the method, Mr. Fudd."

"Get out! Aww of you!" He slammed his fist into his desk, rattling his equipment.

Dr. Duhch sighed and backed out, as though this was all routine. Dr. Pehg stepped out after.

"I'll meet you in a bit, docs. Gimme some time." With that, Dr. Bunnet closed the door on the two of them.

Dr's Duhch and Bunnet looked at each other.

"A she-ah a she-ah a she-ah should we go back?"

"No, Mr. Fudd getth in hith moodth. It theemth to happen more often thethe dayth. I'll thow you where we keep the thpethimenth."

"A we-ah a we-ah a we-ah what about Dr. Bunnet?"

Dr. Duhch walked away, forcing Dr. Pehg to follow. "He wantth to have a talk with Mr. Fudd. Maybe he'll do thome good."

Scenes I'd Like to See: Brobusters

I recently heard this bit of news. Along with the Ghostbusters remake with an all female Ghostbusting team, there will be another Ghostbusters remake, with at least two male members. This other Ghostbusters remake has been nicknamed Brobusters.

That... seems a bad idea. But, the name Brobusters does inspire me with some scenes.

Scene 1

Speaker 1: Are you troubled by strange men in the middle of your work day?

Speaker 2: Do you experience dread in your public transportation?

Speaker 3: Has you, or any of your family, ever been harassed by a dude, bro, or dudebro?

Speaker 1: If the answer is yes, then don't wait another minute. Pick up your phone and call the professionals.

All three in unison: Brobusters

Speaker 1: Our courteous and efficient staff is on call 24 hours a day to serve all your harassment elimination needs.

All three in unison: We're ready to believe you.

Scene 2:

Hotel Manager: Have you seen him?

Brobuster #1: We got him!

Hotel Manager: Will there be any others?

Brobuster #1: Sir, what you had, there, was what we refer to as a focused, rejection refusing, repeating asshole or a class 5 full creepy dudebro. Really oblivious one, too.

Scene: 3

Producer: What do you mean biblical?

Fan 1: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Producer. Real Wrath of God type stuff. Fire and Brimstone coming down from the sky. Rivers and seas boiling.

Fan 2: 40 years of darkness! Earthquakes, Volcanoes!

Fan 3: The dead rising from the grave!

Fan 4: Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats, living together! Mass Hysteria.

Whole team together: The chicks are taking over!

Scene ends with the entire room being sucked into a mobile trap to be taken over to the containment device.

And, finally, the theme song:

"Is there something all too common in your neighborhood?"