Mar. 20th, 2015

Disclaimer 1: Looney Tunes, the characters, their names, and their likenesses are owned by Warner Brothers and this indicates no claim upon their intellectual property.

Disclaimer 2: I know next to nothing about Tasmania or how actual research facilities work.
___

Dr. Pehg's trained eye took in the destruction as she ran. She saw no obvious footprints or differentiation. It seemed less like an animal and more like a miniature tornado had made this path. Then, she came up to the tree.

For one moment, all her intellect worked just to tell her that there was no logical hope.

It wasn't just the hole in the tree. It was that tree was still supporting itself. In order a tree this tall and this wide to support itself with just that much of the edges, the strength of the wood had to rival the best that metallurgists could accomplish. What reasonable chance could someone have against a force with the kind of strength it took to cause that tunnel... for seemingly no reason.

She could not sanely imagine a means of defeating the monster that was named for, but bore no legitimate resemblance to the Tasmanian devil.

"Taz still hungry." The voice came from behind her, baring little to no resemblance to what she knew of Elmer Fudd.

In that moment, she had a choice to make.

She slowly turned to see the blacked, bruised, and bleeding body of Elmer Fudd operating on its own.

"Me want porky meat."

If the lunatic song is all that there is, then it's a big song, encompassing many tunes. And, she'd find her own, happier, melody.

"Smile, darn ya, smile," she sang.
"You know this old world is a great world after all
Smile, darn ya, smile
And right away watch Lady Luck pay you a call"

With more grace than most assumed her capable, Dr. Pehg spun closer to the Tasmanian Devil, to pull it into a dance.

For reasons even it couldn't fathom, the Tasmanian Devil could not resist.

"Things are never black as they are painted
Time for you and joy to get acquainted
Make life worthwhile
Come on and smile, darn ya, smile"

She pressed the beast against one of the remaining supports of the tree.

The beast grew angry and raised a hand to strike at Dr. Pehg. She ducked under the wounded clumsy blow and, with a quick hand, redirected it around until the beast had struck that support.

Before the beast could strike, she moved onto the next verse.

"Smile, darn ya, smile
For there is nothing that you cannot overcome
Smile, darn ya, smile
And where the clouds appear you soon will find the sun"

As she sang, she gently pulled the beast in a straight line.

"Life is really only what you make it
Stand right up and show them you can take it
Make life worthwhile
Come on and smile, darn ya, smile"

She gave one bow, then stepped to the side. "A the-a a the-a a the-a that's all, you son of a bitch!"

As the shadow enveloped him, the Tasmanian Devil had the time to look up and say "eep" before the tree trunk came down and crushed him.

Dr. Pehg was not normally given to superstitious behavior. But, sanity had done her no good. Paranoia moved her to move rocks and dirt with her bare hands. It took her the better part of an hour, but she managed to bury what, of the body, stuck out from under the tree, then weigh even that down with heavy rocks.

After that, it would still be a while, yet, before the helicopter would come. So, she did the only thing she could think of to honor the people she'd known so briefly. She collected all their notes and their research.

Yes, including Elmer Fudd's research. Whatever else he was in his life, he was actually onto something. If only he didn't have to provide evidence like that. It occurred to her that she may have been wrong about that, that the whole ordeal had made her retreat into delusion. If so, there wasn't much she could do about it right now.

Carefully, she collected the notes together into a remaining foot locker. Finally, she went to collect Mr. Fudd's sound equipment. As she was ready to detach it, it came to life.

"Why for you bury me in the cold, cold ground?" came the voice.

The End?

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