Tip #21 They Must Choose It
Jun. 14th, 2015 09:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wingedbeastSo far, I've been talking about how to (or rather how not to) have the conversation. Let's talk a little about how you get to the conversation.
Firstly, you want the people with whom you converse to choose this conversation. They can want the conversation out of curiosity, to clarify details, to get the necessary information to avoid offending, or even to debate you. The important part is that they choose to have the conversation of their own free will.
That means that you have to respect and even safeguard the right not to have the conversation.
The reasons not to have the conversation can be numerous. There's the annoyance at the topic. There's the reluctance to find oneself in a position of taking offense and trying not to offend. And, there's the uncomfortable moment when you feel like someone else views you as a target for their sales-itch rather than a person in your own right.
No, fear and discomfort at the undeniable truth of your position is not going to be one of those reasons. Also, no, they are under no obligation to explain their refusal.
This means that you aren't to press the conversation when they resist. This means that you aren't to shift conversations, with subtlety or otherwise, to your faith. This means that you aren't to make use of captive audiences (people in long lines, people doing their customer service jobs, etc.).
What you are to do is be clear about the conversation that you wish to have and be open to that conversation happening on the other person's convenience (within reason, of course, it can be a bad time for you and there's nothing wrong with that).
This may feel like you're letting opportunities to witness for your faith go by. Let them. Not all opportunities are good opportunities. Sometimes, they're opportunities to be a jerk in the name of your faith. Those aren't good opportunities.
Firstly, you want the people with whom you converse to choose this conversation. They can want the conversation out of curiosity, to clarify details, to get the necessary information to avoid offending, or even to debate you. The important part is that they choose to have the conversation of their own free will.
That means that you have to respect and even safeguard the right not to have the conversation.
The reasons not to have the conversation can be numerous. There's the annoyance at the topic. There's the reluctance to find oneself in a position of taking offense and trying not to offend. And, there's the uncomfortable moment when you feel like someone else views you as a target for their sales-itch rather than a person in your own right.
No, fear and discomfort at the undeniable truth of your position is not going to be one of those reasons. Also, no, they are under no obligation to explain their refusal.
This means that you aren't to press the conversation when they resist. This means that you aren't to shift conversations, with subtlety or otherwise, to your faith. This means that you aren't to make use of captive audiences (people in long lines, people doing their customer service jobs, etc.).
What you are to do is be clear about the conversation that you wish to have and be open to that conversation happening on the other person's convenience (within reason, of course, it can be a bad time for you and there's nothing wrong with that).
This may feel like you're letting opportunities to witness for your faith go by. Let them. Not all opportunities are good opportunities. Sometimes, they're opportunities to be a jerk in the name of your faith. Those aren't good opportunities.
no subject
Date: 2015-07-14 11:25 pm (UTC)I wish more people understood this, though. :/