Tip #23 Radical Honesty
Jun. 28th, 2015 11:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wingedbeastReturning to the topic of acquiring a conversation in the first place, I'm going to advise radical honesty at all points in initiating or inviting to conversation.
There seems to be an evangelizing or missionary pattern of starting a conversation on different terms, then turning the conversation to the topic of a faith or deity. This ranges from the evangelizing methods of starting with something that will then become an example for the conversation that nobody else actually agreed to happen to the more blatant misleading question. Example: "Do you want to know how you can be truly wealthy?" After affirmative response "Then, let me tell you about the riches in Heaven for the faithful."
Partly, this follows from the tip about the choice to have the conversation. They can only choose it if they know what the conversation is going to be.
Partly, this helps you set expectations on the parameters of what you're going to be attempting at any point in ongoing conversation. If you're just looking to learn at first, that's a good thing to say. If you're looking to test your understanding, be honest there. If you're looking to compare and contrast their worldview with your own, say so.
One large part is this helps you avoid leading someone into a conversational trap. You'll find more people are willing to have the long-term conversation when they know that you have an ultimate goal of convincing them than will appreciate being tricked into that conversation at some point, even if you were only dishonest by omission.
But, this is also about radical honesty with yourself. Even as you set expectations with someone else that this evening or this couple hours online will be spent learning to respectfully state someone else's position, remember that expectation yourself. You're not going to, before you're even really started learning someone else's position, destroy that position and leave your own as the only alternative.
Remember, this is a long conversation and even well-meaning dishonesty isn't going to help you.
There seems to be an evangelizing or missionary pattern of starting a conversation on different terms, then turning the conversation to the topic of a faith or deity. This ranges from the evangelizing methods of starting with something that will then become an example for the conversation that nobody else actually agreed to happen to the more blatant misleading question. Example: "Do you want to know how you can be truly wealthy?" After affirmative response "Then, let me tell you about the riches in Heaven for the faithful."
Partly, this follows from the tip about the choice to have the conversation. They can only choose it if they know what the conversation is going to be.
Partly, this helps you set expectations on the parameters of what you're going to be attempting at any point in ongoing conversation. If you're just looking to learn at first, that's a good thing to say. If you're looking to test your understanding, be honest there. If you're looking to compare and contrast their worldview with your own, say so.
One large part is this helps you avoid leading someone into a conversational trap. You'll find more people are willing to have the long-term conversation when they know that you have an ultimate goal of convincing them than will appreciate being tricked into that conversation at some point, even if you were only dishonest by omission.
But, this is also about radical honesty with yourself. Even as you set expectations with someone else that this evening or this couple hours online will be spent learning to respectfully state someone else's position, remember that expectation yourself. You're not going to, before you're even really started learning someone else's position, destroy that position and leave your own as the only alternative.
Remember, this is a long conversation and even well-meaning dishonesty isn't going to help you.
no subject
Date: 2015-06-29 02:55 pm (UTC)When "truly wealthy" means "agrees with me," and "surrendered" means "agrees with me," and "sinful" means "doesn't agree with me" -
well, I refuse to have a conversation on those terms.