Tip #46 Let People Walk Away
Jan. 3rd, 2016 01:46 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wingedbeastOnce upon a time, an atheist blog posted an article about Answers In Genesis, the creationist organization responsible for, among other things, the Creationist Museum. As a result, many frequenters of AIG's website commented on that article, some on topic others not. In an effort to encourage conversation rather than shouting back and forth, I tried to engage in conversation.
One of the comm enters from AIG, in this conversation, pointed me to their website. The website claimed to provide evidence that the Shroud of Turin really was Jesus's burial shroud. Not only that, using physics in examining the fibers, the commentator's web page claimed to be able to prove that the shroud *had* to have been on someone who was dead for a time and then returned to life.
My response was to say "Your evidence is, at best, flawed". Those were my exact words. I remember those being my exact words because, from that point on, the commenter repeated them back to me in response to every comment I made. Someone made a comment about how Jupiter was supposed to have lost all its heat by now, were the universe millions of years old, I responded that it generates its own heat, and I get, from someone not involved in that conversation "Your conclusion is, at best, flawed". No matter what the comment, there was always some element that could be put into place. "Your (insert something here) is, at best, flawed."
It's perfectly natural for you to distance yourself from this commenter. You would never respond like that, mean spirited with passive aggression.
But, you will find yourself in that commentator's position. You're not going to get the right response... or the response you think you are owed. Someone just isn't hearing you out, not really, or else they wouldn't dismiss what you're saying so easily... wouldn't dismiss you. Any offense you take will be easily written off, secondary to the belief that this is about the eternity of the soul.
Let's go ahead and say that the offense you might feel, the blow to your ego, isn't an issue. Let's say that there really isn't anything mean-spirited about your impulse. Let's say that it's entirely for love of God and their immortal soul, with not the slightest bit of selfishness, that you feel the impulse to follow them and not let them step away from the conversation.
It's still a bad idea. Several tips prior have explained that this isn't about not understanding, or just fighting the realization, or even about you at all.
The real reason it's a bad idea is that it's harassment. Depending on what you do and what's provable, that could carry consequences like legal ramifications, losing your job, losing access to a favored place online or in the real world. Also, harassment pushes people away. Let them walk away from the conversation if that's what they want to do, let them come back if that's what they want to do. Don't make them afraid, annoyed, or angered just by your presence.
And, to cross this over with potential tips in seeking romantic connection, one thing I have found helps me be a better person is remembering that I'm not owed a chance at someone's affections. You're not owed a chance at saving their soul, whether you feel you've had a fair one or not.
One of the comm enters from AIG, in this conversation, pointed me to their website. The website claimed to provide evidence that the Shroud of Turin really was Jesus's burial shroud. Not only that, using physics in examining the fibers, the commentator's web page claimed to be able to prove that the shroud *had* to have been on someone who was dead for a time and then returned to life.
My response was to say "Your evidence is, at best, flawed". Those were my exact words. I remember those being my exact words because, from that point on, the commenter repeated them back to me in response to every comment I made. Someone made a comment about how Jupiter was supposed to have lost all its heat by now, were the universe millions of years old, I responded that it generates its own heat, and I get, from someone not involved in that conversation "Your conclusion is, at best, flawed". No matter what the comment, there was always some element that could be put into place. "Your (insert something here) is, at best, flawed."
It's perfectly natural for you to distance yourself from this commenter. You would never respond like that, mean spirited with passive aggression.
But, you will find yourself in that commentator's position. You're not going to get the right response... or the response you think you are owed. Someone just isn't hearing you out, not really, or else they wouldn't dismiss what you're saying so easily... wouldn't dismiss you. Any offense you take will be easily written off, secondary to the belief that this is about the eternity of the soul.
Let's go ahead and say that the offense you might feel, the blow to your ego, isn't an issue. Let's say that there really isn't anything mean-spirited about your impulse. Let's say that it's entirely for love of God and their immortal soul, with not the slightest bit of selfishness, that you feel the impulse to follow them and not let them step away from the conversation.
It's still a bad idea. Several tips prior have explained that this isn't about not understanding, or just fighting the realization, or even about you at all.
The real reason it's a bad idea is that it's harassment. Depending on what you do and what's provable, that could carry consequences like legal ramifications, losing your job, losing access to a favored place online or in the real world. Also, harassment pushes people away. Let them walk away from the conversation if that's what they want to do, let them come back if that's what they want to do. Don't make them afraid, annoyed, or angered just by your presence.
And, to cross this over with potential tips in seeking romantic connection, one thing I have found helps me be a better person is remembering that I'm not owed a chance at someone's affections. You're not owed a chance at saving their soul, whether you feel you've had a fair one or not.
