Tip #86 Don't Poke Wounds
Sep. 8th, 2017 12:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wingedbeastThis experience was relayed to me by an online friend. The person who said this to her had already made efforts to convert her to Christianity. Those efforts were reported to HR who made sure that said person knew that this was not acceptable work-place behavior. Still, upon a temporary move of office, said person, knowing that my online friend had recently lost a dear pet, said this.
There's a great deal to be said about time and place. But, I'll focus on this.
This Christian co-worker, who would likely have a self-image of being incredibly well-meaning, poked a wound. In fact, people of various faiths who find it their duty to convince the unconvinced are often taught to poke wounds while, at the same time, claiming that their faith can soothe the hurt. Stories are told of people in pain who, in their pain, came to your faith.
In your desire to change minds, particularly believing that the demands of your faith or your believed consequences of being unconvinced demand the effort, you will be tempted to treat this as a necessary evil. You will be tempted to treat this as not an evil at all, but just a step toward a good goal.
Make no mistake. This is finding suffering, making that suffering worse, and seizing upon that suffering as a means of taking them away from their ability to think logically. There are words for that kind of behavior, words like "predatory" and "monstrous."
But, this is a series that aims to give you advice on a practical level. I bring up that morality to remind you that you and your faith are presenting an image. In this case, the image is that of someone ready, willing, and able to be both predatory and monstrous if there's a slight possibility that can gain a slight advantage. Few people want to be a part of such a faith or to be associated with those who do.
I know that you want to be able to offer up your faith as the means of soothing hurt. You can't exactly do that without hurt being in the mix. Similarly, you want to offer up your faith as a solution to the problem of dead loved ones, something you can't do without acknowledging that living for any length of time involves losing loved ones.
When someone is hurting, you offer condolences. You say that you're sorry for their loss. You offer up a cookie if you have the option and it's appropriate. That is not the time to pounce.
When you are not poking someone's pain, when you are explicitly asked, you can answer to point out your faith's answer to death. Chances are you won't be asked, if you're a Christian. The reason is that we already know your answer. If the topic of your answer to death comes up, you can offer that.
Until then, their pain is not your opportunity, not if you don't want to be a monster.
"God wants me to tell you that if you accept him as your Lord and Savior you'll go to heaven after you die. You'll see your lizard again. She'll be there to greet you with him when you first get to the gates."
There's a great deal to be said about time and place. But, I'll focus on this.
This Christian co-worker, who would likely have a self-image of being incredibly well-meaning, poked a wound. In fact, people of various faiths who find it their duty to convince the unconvinced are often taught to poke wounds while, at the same time, claiming that their faith can soothe the hurt. Stories are told of people in pain who, in their pain, came to your faith.
In your desire to change minds, particularly believing that the demands of your faith or your believed consequences of being unconvinced demand the effort, you will be tempted to treat this as a necessary evil. You will be tempted to treat this as not an evil at all, but just a step toward a good goal.
Make no mistake. This is finding suffering, making that suffering worse, and seizing upon that suffering as a means of taking them away from their ability to think logically. There are words for that kind of behavior, words like "predatory" and "monstrous."
But, this is a series that aims to give you advice on a practical level. I bring up that morality to remind you that you and your faith are presenting an image. In this case, the image is that of someone ready, willing, and able to be both predatory and monstrous if there's a slight possibility that can gain a slight advantage. Few people want to be a part of such a faith or to be associated with those who do.
I know that you want to be able to offer up your faith as the means of soothing hurt. You can't exactly do that without hurt being in the mix. Similarly, you want to offer up your faith as a solution to the problem of dead loved ones, something you can't do without acknowledging that living for any length of time involves losing loved ones.
When someone is hurting, you offer condolences. You say that you're sorry for their loss. You offer up a cookie if you have the option and it's appropriate. That is not the time to pounce.
When you are not poking someone's pain, when you are explicitly asked, you can answer to point out your faith's answer to death. Chances are you won't be asked, if you're a Christian. The reason is that we already know your answer. If the topic of your answer to death comes up, you can offer that.
Until then, their pain is not your opportunity, not if you don't want to be a monster.
no subject
Date: 2017-09-09 03:20 am (UTC)Alternatively: any time Pat Roberts opened his mouth in front of a TV camera, he proved that Christians like this exist.
no subject
Date: 2017-09-09 04:42 am (UTC)