Tip #89 Their Experience Is Valid
Nov. 24th, 2017 01:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wingedbeastIn the comments section of the blog, Barrier Breaker, link to the specific post below*, one ex-Christian commented on how they felt their life improved since leaving Christianity. That comment included a line likening God to "some invisible spy creeping around keeping tabs on every move I make." This, as you can understand, is not a view of God appreciated by most Christians (or by yourself if you're within my target reader). So, you can somewhat understand the following response.
I understand the need to push back against the uncharitable characterization of a figure one venerates. This is not the correct way to go about it and certainly not the correct way to convince others that your faith is correct.
The quote, first and foremost, invalidates the experience and self-report of the first speaker. "You are not allowed," says the subtext, "to communicate any such negative description of my faith, and I will act to eliminate your ability to do so."
When dealing with the experience of another person, remember that it is their experience, not yours. It is not yours to correct. They may be mistaken on elements outside their personal experience, but not about their own feelings and their own reactions. And, that means that the descriptions are less pleasing than you like are, well... true.
That doesn't mean that God is bad. It does mean that one experience of the omnipresent, always watching, being that notes the moral value of all you say and do can honestly be described and experienced as "some invisible spy creeping around keeping tabs on every move I make."
Declaring that experience invalid doesn't make their experience invalid. It makes you the kind of person who immediately invalidates other people's experiences when they're theologically uncomfortable.
Your task will be to acknowledge and accept that experience as honest and true and to continue the conversation with that in mind. Here, this combines with other tips, such as "get comfortable being wrong". Maybe your own appreciation of your faith will need to change, become something more robust. Maybe your appreciation needs to acknowledge that it is, to valid perspective, less than morally ideal.
Remember, those who don't have your idealistic view of your faith don't have to be wrong for your faith (at least in broad strokes) to be right.
My advise is, if you find yourself in a similar situation and someone is describing an experience of your faith in a manner that is so negative, to state how it disagrees with your experience and ask for more information. Remember, they are under no obligation to give that more information. Be ready to learn, be ready to be wrong, be ready to accept this interpretation and use it to improve your own relationship with your faith and with others.
But, do not use it as an opportunity to declare their experience invalid. No amount of nice wording or pleasant endings can make that polite.
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/barrierbreaker/ghostsandmonsters
Given what you wrote, I would be interested in knowing what exactly did you once presumably believe; the..."invisible spy creeping around keeping tabs on every move I make"...doesn't corresponded to any belief system that I'm familiar with, certainly not Christian theism,so...what are you talking about here?
I understand the need to push back against the uncharitable characterization of a figure one venerates. This is not the correct way to go about it and certainly not the correct way to convince others that your faith is correct.
The quote, first and foremost, invalidates the experience and self-report of the first speaker. "You are not allowed," says the subtext, "to communicate any such negative description of my faith, and I will act to eliminate your ability to do so."
When dealing with the experience of another person, remember that it is their experience, not yours. It is not yours to correct. They may be mistaken on elements outside their personal experience, but not about their own feelings and their own reactions. And, that means that the descriptions are less pleasing than you like are, well... true.
That doesn't mean that God is bad. It does mean that one experience of the omnipresent, always watching, being that notes the moral value of all you say and do can honestly be described and experienced as "some invisible spy creeping around keeping tabs on every move I make."
Declaring that experience invalid doesn't make their experience invalid. It makes you the kind of person who immediately invalidates other people's experiences when they're theologically uncomfortable.
Your task will be to acknowledge and accept that experience as honest and true and to continue the conversation with that in mind. Here, this combines with other tips, such as "get comfortable being wrong". Maybe your own appreciation of your faith will need to change, become something more robust. Maybe your appreciation needs to acknowledge that it is, to valid perspective, less than morally ideal.
Remember, those who don't have your idealistic view of your faith don't have to be wrong for your faith (at least in broad strokes) to be right.
My advise is, if you find yourself in a similar situation and someone is describing an experience of your faith in a manner that is so negative, to state how it disagrees with your experience and ask for more information. Remember, they are under no obligation to give that more information. Be ready to learn, be ready to be wrong, be ready to accept this interpretation and use it to improve your own relationship with your faith and with others.
But, do not use it as an opportunity to declare their experience invalid. No amount of nice wording or pleasant endings can make that polite.
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/barrierbreaker/ghostsandmonsters
